The Positive Twist

The Positive Twist, week 2, ways to become happier

By Lori Spensieri of “Eh! Be Positive” and “30 Days to Happy”

The Moto of “Eh! Be Positive” and “30 Days to Happy” is “The sun is always shining from Behind the Clouds”. This is what Positive Peeps keep in mind every day.

Week 2 of  “30 Days to Happy”

Week 2 represents “Day 2” in the “30 days to Happy” book that is coming out soon in books stores.

The title of this chapter is “The Positive Twist”. This is a strategy with which some people have great skill.  At the same time equally large number are absolutely terrible.

Week 1 – “What is your happiness?” can be found here. Starts here and then move ahead to day 2.

HOW DO YOU TEND TO HANDLE NEGATIVE SITUATIONS?

There are many “bad” things that may happen to us that force us to ask such questions as,“Why me?” or “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

The answer is simple. Things, both good and bad happen to all of us. The difference between people is how one looks at what has happened.

When a person experiences something negative, losing their cell phone, for instance, he or she has a variety of options with regard to the possible reaction. He or she can do one of the following:

  1. Get upset. Tell everyone what happened, looking for sympathy. Complain and complain but eventually get a new phone begrudgingly.
  2. Simply accept that the phone is misplaces and then take the necessary steps to replace it. It is what it is. Things come and go.
  3. See the loss of the phone as an opportunity to get a new and improved model that you have been wanting. Imagine that the person who found it really needed it. See the situation as positively as possible.

Click here to find a link to the book “10 Ways to Happy” for more happy tips and tricks.

Which option do you think leads to the most happiness?

THERE IS ALWAYS A SILVER LINING

Eh! Be Positive Everyone!

When these things happen, one must remember that there is always a silver lining. There is always a benefit. It may not seem immediately evident, although with some effort one will get better and better at seeing the good.  Here are 8 possible mishaps that could happen in your life:

  1. Getting Dumped
  2. Getting fired from a job.
  3. Getting a speeding ticket.
  4. Getting a cold or flu
  5. Gaining a few Lbs.
  6. Having a friend give up on you
  7. Being diagnosed with a mental illness.
  8. You are running to get to the bus and you trip and fall.

This strategy involves taking a bad situation and looking at it from different angles or perspectives. This is in hopes of finding a silver lining, a lesson or something positive. In every bad situation, there must be something positive to take away.

This useful strategy can be applied on a daily basis as things happen to us. There are two ways to use this.

Have a few Happy thought handy….just in case.

STRATEGY USE #1

Have a series of “Happy Ideas” or “Warm Thoughts” ready to repeat if something adverse happens:

Be this happy!

Here are a few for you to use.

  1. Everything happens for a reason.
  2. This too shall pass.
  3. It will work out in the end.
  4. Everything could be much worse.
  5. I will learn from this.
  6. If it does not kill me, it makes me stronger.
  7. God doesn’t give me more than I can handle.
  8. I got this.
  9. I am strong and I can get through anything.
  10. Positive thoughts and energy are more powerful than negative thought and energy.

STRATEGY USE #2

Tailor your thoughts to the situation at hand.

When something happens to you that is not pleasant, decide how this may actually be  benefitting you.

HOW DO I USE THE POSTIVE TWIST?

HERE is that same list of 8 possible mishaps that could happen to any of us. See our suggestion of how each COULD actually lead good things. 

1) Getting dumped

It’s painful when it happens. One person in a relationship stops feeling the same about the other. He or she decides to end the relationship. The person left alone, not by choice, has an opportunity to be strong and brave. He or she will see that there is someone for them. There is someone more suitable, perhaps a soul mate out there. The short-term pain, will render long-term happiness…. only later on. 

2) Getting Fired From your Job.

Losing a job scan feel devastating. It can feel like one has lost control of his or her life. One must remember, everything happens for a reason. A better job or opportunity is near. Perhaps losing the job is allowing for more freedom and time. 

3) Getting a Speeding Ticket or Experiencing an Accident.

Getting a ticket feels terrible. It feels like a slap on the wrist. It is. It is a reminder that we have rules in place. These rules protect us. These rules provide safety, stability, and predictability. Getting a ticket , well annoying as it is, it shows that the system works. 

4) Catching a cold or flu

We never stop. We work hard. We chase kids around. We do housework. We don’t sleep enough and a lot of the time we aren’t eating nutritionally sound options. Getting a cold or flu forces us to stop. It forces us to rest, hydrate and slow down. 

5) Gaining a few Unwanted Pounds

When we stop paying attention to our habits there are consequences. At times we become busy. When one notices that one has gained weight it is an indicator of lack of balance. It forces one to pay attention to health. Perhaps ones diet Mist be adjusted or perhaps worse. The thyroid may be malfunctioning, or the endocrine system may be sluggish. Weight gain can be ones first sigh of a problem. 

6) Having a friend give up on you.

Fighting with a friend can be stressful.

Who needs enemies when I have a friend like you? We have heard this saying before. Do you know someone who fits the bill? When we lose a friend we have a chance to reflect on the source of tension or the reason. Some friendships are meant to be saved and some were never meant to exist. 

7) Having a mental illness. 

Being depressed can have a silver lining.

There have been so many studies on positive aspects of having certain mental illnesses. See this link that correlates meant illnesses with positive personality traits. Having generalized anxiety allows me to have a greater sense of empathy towards other people problems. Having OCD helps me be more creative and having ADHD allows me to estimate time more efficiently and accurately.

8) You are running to get to the bus and you trip and fall.

      You didn’t hurt yourself but you feel embarrassed indeed. Remember that everyone falls. We all fall. This is especially true when we rush.  Perhaps there is a benefit hidden in there, somewhere. Perhaps, this fall has taught ‘the fallen’ a lesson about slowing down and being more careful. Perhaps your lesson is that you must get up earlier and hence give yourself more time to get where you are going.  Perhaps after you fall you will be helped up by the man (or woman) of your dreams. There are so many ways to see this differently.

THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING BEHIND THE CLOUDS

Cara and I run a Facebook group that is dedicated to positivity. The world is chock-full of sarcasm, judgment, and criticism. We do not aim to fight fire with fire. We aim to kill ‘em with kindness. The tagline that we use is, “The Sun is Always Shining Behind the Clouds”.  When the clouds gather in the sky, they cover the sun. We can’t see the sun any longer. It is still there. No matter how thick that cloud cover is, the sun is still there. It will still be there a million years from now as well. This is fitting in any situation.

Click here to find our Facebook Page.

Click here to find our Facebook Group.

Life can feel very difficult at times. We are faced with challenges daily. We can see each challenge as a cloud. Remember, clouds always clear. They clear, to reveal a powerful, warm, comforting sun. The sun represents your resilience and survival. The sun represents the positive in your life. Even when your life is weighed down by stress, anxiety, challenges, work, etc, the positive is still there and it will return. Just remember that.

Join our facebook group and our Facebook Page. We update daily with positive content, challenges, jokes, articles, strategies and other great stuff.

Quiz – are you a optimist, realist or pessimist. – coming soon.

Thank you for reading our post. Please leave any comments, questions or content suggestions. Remember to see the good in everything and…

Eh! Be Positive.

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My Black Friday BIG TICKET Christmas List

Disclosure: “This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using these links.”

** My Big ticket List **

Matthew and Jacob in 2013 duing their first Christmas together. 

I do not usually have a Christmas List, let alone a “BIG TICKET” list…but this year is different. I have chosen six items..just six. These six will change my life and yours. See why. Here is my list:  

1. iRobot Roomba 980 Vacuum Cleaning Robot

2. Microsoft Xbox One X 1TB Console – Xbox One X Edition

3. All-new Sonos One – Smart Speaker with Alexa voice control built-In

4. Nikon D3400 w/AF-P DX NIKKOR 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G VR & AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED

5. ASUS Chromebook Flip C302CA-DHM4 12.5-Inch Touchscreen Intel Core m3 with 64GB storage and 4GB RAM

6. Samsung Galaxy S9+ Unlocked Smartphone, Titanium Grey (SM-G965WZAAXAC)

There are so many amazing deals on Amazon right now. Whether you are completing some early Christmas/Holiday Shopping or you just want to cross something off of your own “Things I Want” list there are some really awesome deals on some awesome gadgets.

Christmas is coming! Are you ready?

This year I have faced a few obstacles…most of which could have been solved by having more time. There are 24 hours in a day. Since we can not make a day longer (I tried, it is impossible, based on the time-space continuum). The alternative is to free up more hours in the day. Aside from time, simplicity is a mom’s best friend. Keep reading to see what is on my “BIG TICKET CHRISTMAS LIST” and why I want each item.

THE RUNDOWN!

As a mom, I love to take photos of my two boys. We could be just hanging around the house watching television and my younger son will make a priceless expression. Everyday moments become epic photo opportunities. My iPhone takes amazing photos, as long as there is ample light. The Nikon D3400 is user-friendly and offers a number of useful settings. There is a newer version of this camera, although the technology is still cutting edge the price reflects that a newer one exists. This camera is on my Christmas list for sure!

If you would rather go with a smartphone to capture your photos go with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I am usually an “Apple” girl but this phone does so much. All smartphones replace at least 11 pieces of technology: camera, calendar, flashlight, computer, gaming system, calculator, video camera, data files, pager, Television, books and more. Since our phones can do so much, and we are saving so much by not needing all the other gadgets, it makes sense to invest in a great smartphone. The one you chose should have as many features 

The Galaxy is a great option for me, as it takes great low-light photos. I think I will go check this one out. It looks amazing.

***

Another item that I think you need to know about is the ASUS Chromebook Flip. My godson started grade 6 this past September. The teachers at his school, and many other schools, are depending more and more on Google-based apps. The Chromebook will make his academic life so much easier. He will be able to access the same Google docs that he is working on at school, at home. His teacher can share docs and slides with him and other people in his group. This is a great tool for a student. Plus it folds into a tablet so it is great for gaming too. An all-in-one awesome gift!

My kids love to play music and dance. We dance almost every day. This is amazing since I barely can find time to exercise, let alone go to a gym. This way we put on YouTube and dance to fortnite videos or mainstream songs while watching the videos. I realized how nice it would be to have a speaker that I can hook up my smartphone o to play my playlist. I pay yearly for apple music. I listen to it in the car but to listen to it at home too would be amazing. I found this all-in-one speaker. It can be used as a speaker in the house. This is amazing too because Alexa is built in as well. She can do all kinds of tasks for me. I love that. The thought of having my own personal assistant sends chills down my spine. The Sonos One has all of the features that I want in a speaker.

If I can’t get Alexa to come to my house and be my assistant, another option is to find a way to keep these kid occupied. Enter the newest Xbox. It is called the Xbox One X. It is a great solution! It has all of the games that kids are going crazy for. It works with the Xbox one games as well. It supports Xbox live and its 40% faster than any other systems. Ok, that sounds amazing. Maybe I can get the kids’ dad to play some NHL 2019 with them and then I can go get a pedicure. Ok, that is wishful thinking…or maybe not.

I will have bought more time for myself by getting the iRobot Roomba. I can picture my Roomba moving about gracefully from room to room making my live better and better. The cat would go for joy rides on it. My mother-in-law would gasp upon entering and tell me how tidy and dustless my home is and how impressed she is. Well, that may actually be a fantasy. One can have a big imagination right. This Roomba is my Robot vacuum of choice as it can move from a carpeted surface to a carpet-free surface. It is smarter than your average Robot Vacuum.

Ok so that’s my Big Ticket Christmas list. Not everything is directly for me persay, although as you can see, I will benefit from each item. My letter to Santa is in the mail and I am just counting down the days. I will be posting a blog about all things “Elf on the Shelf”. We are going to give you so many ideas of “scenarios” in which to place your Elf.

Merry Christmas and Eh! Be Positive

Eh! Be Positive Everyone!

Links of London You Will Love

Image is a cover photo for the links of london Blog

By Lori Spensieri

Links of London CA

*Disclaimer – There are affiliate link in this article. This means that there are product links and if you click one I may get a commision from any potiential sales.

It was 6 years ago. My little matthew was getting baptised. His future God-Mother was owed a gift. She had already been such a wonderful, supportive and loving aunt to Jacob, she was already the perfect person to be the God Mother. She knew exactly what she wanted; A Links of London bracelet.

My husband went to the buy the bracelet. When he brought it home, I carefully inspected it. I wanted to see what all the hype was about. Upon opening it, I put it on my wrist. It fit perfectly and I was sold.

Links of London has so many cute bracelets for any occasion; from casual to wedding-worthy. they have something “She” will love. Below I have listed my top my favourite bracelets at Links of London. Being kind and supporting is best way to show gratitude to your significant other. Click here for an article about gratitude.

Before I get to my List of “My Top 5 Favourite Bracelets by Links of London”, I thought I would share with you an article in Psychology today. It is titled “6 Reasons Gift-Giving Men are Good Lovers”. Very enlightening and somewhat eye-opening as well. Leave your feedback.

Links of London CA

My top 5 favourite bracelets at Links of London are:

5) Sterling Silver & Emerald Green Mini Friendship Bracelet

This bracelet is so cool. Macrame and metalic beads. Everyone should have this in their jewerly box. It is reminescent of the old frienship bracelet style. Its length is adjustable easil by pulling the rope from both sides. It comes in various colours! See the Links of London Link for more.

3) Sweetie Rhodium Plated

Did you know that rhodium repels rust. Links of London treats their jewerly to repel the effects of oxidation althogh over time dullness can occurr. You do not have to worry at all in this case. I love the look of this bracelet. It is a little edgier and suits a darker style. Black is the new black.

Links of London CA

3) Ascot Sterling Silver Horseshoe Clasp Bangle

I love the shimplicity of this one. If you prefer a bangle style bracelet this one is for you. This bracelet can be worn either casually or it can be dressed up.

Links of London CA

2) Hope Sterling Silver Bracelet

This bracelet is so elegant and simple. The slight tear-shape is subtle yet still unique. It is always nice to be wear a piece of jewelry that gets noticed, for its elegance rather than its over-the-top bling. This bracelet is also adjustable so that you can tighten it if you have tiny wrists. If you prefer to waear this as an ankle bracelet you can put it on the longer link.

Links of London CA

 

1)Ascot Sterling Silver Sweetie Charm Bracelet

Cleck here to get back to our home page.

This is the classic simple charm bracelet. One may think that the closely placed links may pink or pulll on arm hairs although this is not the case. It sits nicey on my wrist on its own or it can cmplement another silver tone bracelet.

This bracelet makes a great gift for any girl; as a stand alone gift or with a charm or two. Imagine starting a stradition where you can buy her a charm each year, based on a meaningful memory from the previous year. Such a lovely thought. Speaking of love, click here for an article about love.

Links of London CA

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Get Happier with Nintendo’s New Digs

By Lori Spensieri

15% Everything! Stock up on thoughtfully designed baby boots, pajamas, footies, and more! Use code: SITESALE. Ends 9/11

*There are affiliate links in this article. This means that if you click on one of the links below, and you proceed to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission for the sale referral. There is no charge to you*

The all new Nintendo Switch Lite is coming out soon! September 20, 2019.

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According to Nintendo.com,

“Nintendo Switch Lite is a compact, lightweight Nintendo Switch system dedicated to handheld play. With a built-in +Control Pad and a sleek, unibody design, it’s great for on-the-go gaming. Nintendo Switch Lite is compatible with the robust library of Nintendo Switch games that support handheld mode. If you’re looking for a gaming system all your own, Nintendo Switch Lite is ready to hit the road whenever you are.”

When you purchase the new Switch Lite, it includes: Nintendo Switch Lite system and Nintendo Switch AC adapter.

Image from Nintendolife.com

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It will be available at these four major retailers of electronics. EB Games, Best Buy, Walmart and Amazon.

It will be available in grey, yellow, and a pretty turquoise. You can guess what my hue of choice is. There is one more option, the Zacian and Zamazenta Edition.

Be sure to pre-order, to guarantee yourself one of these babies, Click on any of the links. Amazon Prime Shipping is available for this console. You can have it at your door in as little as 24 hours!

15% Everything! Stock up on thoughtfully designed baby boots, pajamas, footies, and more! Use code: SITESALE. Ends 9/11

You don’t have Amazon Prime Yet? Well check out the benefits. You can get a free trial of Amazon Prime Shipping. This offer will run out soon.

How Does Switch Lite Compare to Other Hand-help consoles?

  1. Price Point. The Switch Lite is an economic choice as it is $259 CAD.
  2. Play Modes. One play mode is offered; hand-held.
  3. Compatability Modes. The Switch Lite was built to be compatible with the software and games of the original Switch.
  4. Presence of Joy-con controllers. There are no removable Joy-con controllers. In my experience, this is a good thing. Jacob’s joy-cons have fallen off. One of them broke. Keep in mind, more moving parts means more can break.
  5. Docking Capability – The new Switch Lite does not dock as it does not offer Television mode play.
  6. Screen Size and weight. The new Switch Lite is 0.61lbs as compared to 0.88lbs for the original. The size of the Lite’s screen is 5.5inches as compared to 6.2inches. This is measured diagonally therefor the difference is not going to be a big issue.

15% Everything! Stock up on thoughtfully designed baby boots, pajamas, footies, and more! Use code: SITESALE. Ends 9/11

Click HERE to see the full specs of those systems.

Nintendo also has a few other hand-held video game systems worth mentioning. Nintendo offers the 2DS and the 3DS game systems. Both systems charge using the same chord which is convenient. The battery life is good. On a full charge, they can each get 2-4 hours of game- play, depending on the game. The games for each system are not fully compatible. Some of the 2DS games can be used in the 3DS although not all of them. It will state directly on the packaging whether a game is compatible with each system. My two boys each have a system.

Jacob (9) fulling engrossed in his Nintendo 3DS.

Jacob is 9 years old. He has the Nintendo 3DS. This system has a price point of $239.99 CAD.

Matthew is 6 years old and he has the Nintendo 2DS. The price of this system is $109.99 CAD. At 6 years old he can easily navigate this system. We are considering upgrading him to a 2DS XL. It is $199.99.

The original Nintendo 2DS. The new Nintendo 2DS XL became available in 2017. It is about $50 more.

Click HERE to see the full specs on the Nintendo 2DS and the Nintendo 3DS.

For a more comprehensive list of the top 5 handheld game systems, check out this article by clicking here.

Last, but certainly not least, in the area of hand-held gaming, we can not leave out the Apple iPad.

The Sony PSP… we can not talk about handheld devices without an honorable mention.

The Sony PSP hand-held gaming system.
Image from Treasureclassified.com

This system is a little older although it was one of the first to offer a multiple purpose approach to give you more bang for your buck.

The PSP doesn’t just play games. It could also play MP3s. It could play movies. Last but not least, it could browse the Internet, view your photos, and even more.

This system was discontinued but I felt the need to mention it as it brought hours and hours of fun to so many.

How before you get too worried about your child being on a video game system 24 hour each day, please take a moment to read this enlightening article by psychology today. Click here. It outlines the cognitive benefits for children when playing video games.

More to come ….

My brother Vincent, is a graphic designer and a major gamer. He is no Ninja but he knows his way around a Nintendo or Sony system. We grew up with the original Nintendo system. You know the one. The one that would not work at times, and you instinctively knew that blowing into the system and along the edge of the game would somehow help.

Do you remember having to blow into the old Nintendo games and console? Apparently that is actually NOT a good practice. Who knew?

I will be discussing gaming with him as this topic does bring happiness and joy to many. Gaming, in the past, was seen as an individual activity that separated people on a social level. Now, children can play multi-player games. They can watch videos together, that feature their favorite gamer and they can play as a team in such games like Fortnite.

For a bigger dose of positivity join our Eh! Be Positive facebook group by clicking here.

Or you can join our Eh! Be Positve Facebook Page by clicking here.

Thank you for reading and Eh! Be Positive.

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Further Reading Suggestion: Click here for more about the benefits of doing activities you enjoy.

A Little CBD Goes A Long Way…For Me

Lori Spensieri image with heading, "CBD Oil Could it really help me with anxiety?'
I was one of those people who believed in the stigma against marijuana. I now see the light.

By Lori Spensieri

*This article contains affilitate links.

My experience with social anxiety has been a mix of stages that are similar to that of mourning. I mourned my old life, the way I was before I became so crippled by my anxiety. I was constantly worried that people would not like me. Next, I became angry. Why was I experiencing this? I felt like Spiderman; when he gazes longingly at his peers having fun while he has to fight crime. The difference, I wasn’t fighting crime, I was just fighting myself.

Click here for an article about the importance of good quality friendships in your pursuit of happiness.

Diamond Hemp

What Was I Really Worried About?

Everything. I was worried about pretty much anything and everything…on a social level. Here goes. I was worried that:

  • I would be boring.
  • I would find myself in an awkward interaction of some sort.
  • I would not be able to maintain a conversation.
  • I would make a fool of myself.
  • I would stutter and sound ridiculous.
  • I would not be able to think of what I wanted to say.
  • My mind would go blank.
  • I would be taking up someone’s time that they could be using on someone more interesting.
happiness, cbd oil, no more negative self talk
When I started using CBD oil, my negative self-talk stopped. Just like that.

Diamond Hemp

My self-esteem and self-concept was the real problem. I did not believe in my own ability to interact with other humans in a functional way. At times, I thought that perhaps I had a form of autism.

Diamond CBD

Click here for my recent article about the new epidemic of loneliness.

I tried counselling.

I tried organic diets.

I tried medication.

I tried meditation and affirmation.

Then I tried CDB oil. It was like night and day. The difference was profound and quick.

I had to put on a happy face as often as possible..for the boys.

Final Stage: Acceptance!

I love myself the way I am. I am not the same as everyone else but that is the beauty of my condition. I can see things differently. I can think outside of the box. I have a unique perspective. I accept myself this way.

Without the debilitating negative self-talk, I can see things much more clearly. I am not going to say that it was all the CBD oil, but it is a major component that lead me to my new happier life and positive perspective.

Lori (the author) smiling. The caption says, "I finally got a full night sleep. What a relief."
CBD even helped my sleep issues. For the past 18 months I have been waking multiple times throughout the night.

CBD for Every Ailment

I will not use the term ‘cure all’, as anxiety can not be cured completely. Many conditions and diseases are not curable.

Treatable…yes!

Managable…yes!

Improvable…oh yes!

Top 10 Ailments commonly treated by CBD successfully

  1. Anxiety
  2. Depression
  3. Chronic Pain
  4. Eye Problems
  5. ADHD
  6. Reduce Skin Irritation and Acne
  7. Epilepsy
  8. MS
  9. Diabetes
  10. Heart Health and blood pressure

The Benefits of CBD Oil

For more information about the benefits and for more benefits, not mentioned already see an informative article by clicking here.

To get your CBD oil click here to order the highest quality product around, Click here.

Resources

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/cbd-oil-benefits

What about Canada?

CTFO does not yet sell CBD products to customers in Canada. There is currently no timeline on this.

I appologize to my fellow Canadians. When I found this out, I was very disappointed. But…instead of giving up or abandoning ship, I have decided to use this as an opportunity to demonstrate to CTFO that Canada is a major market.

I am going to start by demonstrating to CTFO that there are many Canadians that are both interested in and in need of their CBD oils.

Non-CBD Products

There is a series of non-cbd products that are available. These products are all tested and very high quality. I have posted a link for you to check this out.

I have started using the anti-aging product called “Non-CBD Collagen Retinol Cream”. I will be posting before and after pics soon.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please leave any comments or questions.

You can email me by clicking here.

For a bigger dose of Positivity join our Facebook Page and Our Facebook Group.

For more happy content, see our sister page, “30 Days to Happy” on Facebook.

Guess what? We also have a Pinterest Page with many useful and interesting boards. Check it out.

You can also see our sister website, “Thirty Days to Happy” by clicking here.

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Click here to see a great deal from SiteGround. I recommend it for all of your webhosting needs. Great deals happening all the time.

To find out more about the benefits of having your website or emaul hosted externally click here.

Loneliness! A Startling New Epidemic, and what to do about it!

The New Loneliness Epidemic is having a negative effect on individuals. This can lead to emotion, physical and social damage.
Image courtesy of The Wright Foundation

By Lori Spensieri

Part 1 – All About Loneliness

What is loneliness? Well, how does one define something that is so personal and subjective? Are some people simply destined to feel lonely for their entire lives? I have felt lonely on and off for my entire life.

Check out my introspective book of poems that demonstate my perosnal experience with feeling lilke i do not fit in anywhere, my diagnosis of social anxiety and my intense need to belong. 

It started in high school. At some point in my third year (grade 11), I became way too aware of what I imagined people thought of me. I suddenly worried that I was not interesting enough. I would be talking to someone and the following thought would come crashing down on me, “What if this person is talking to me but there is someone more interesting that they could be talking to?” I found myself wanting more and more to be alone.

Dictionary Definition: 

lone·li·ness [ˈlōnlēnəs]

NOUN

  1. sadness because one has no friends or company.

“feelings of depression and loneliness”

synonyms:

isolation · friendlessness · lack of friends/companions · forsakenness · 

[more]

  • the fact of being without companions; solitariness.

“the loneliness of a sailor’s life”

  • (of a place) the quality of being unfrequented and remote; isolation.

“the loneliness of the farm”

The Definition

According to the show’s host Tracy (whom I am a huge fan) this the definition of loneliness;

‘The negative feeling of emptiness and the feeling arises when our social needs are not met by the quality and quantity of our social relationships. It effects us emotionally, physically and socially and it  affects our bodies and our minds.’

Tracy then pointed out that in the UK there is a Minister of Loneliness.  Why would there be a need for such a representative? This is not exactly a rhetorical question. There is a varying need for such a position depending on the level of importance that each society places on social interaction and connecting with other people.

In a society that prides such qualities as togetherness, teamwork and friendship, loneliness may occur more often. In Societies where such qualities as independence, professional success and separateness, tend to experience less loneliness.  

Societies around the world place different levels of importance on the concepts of Individual Effort vs Team Effort.

See the article by clicking here, that defines the difference between Individualism and Teamwork.

Also, here is an article entitled, “Individualist or Collectivist? How Culture Influences Behaviour

One may ask next, what can you do about it if you feel lonely? I waited until after my episode was recorded and aired before I answered this question.

In some societies team work is prided much more heavily than an individual effort.

Loneliness Part 2 – Now that the show has aired.

As a person who struggles with loneliness almost daily, this experience was eye opening. Being interviewed on camera was exciting. It was fun to have a camera following me. I felt like a movie star for the day. Matthew, my six-year-old, seemed to like it too.  The most important of this experience is that it was very validating.  I am not alone. I am part of a group of individuals who clearly suffer from very similar ailments.

One of the most helpful strategies that I picked up from the show was the tips from Dr. Karyn Gordon. She suggested that one can start a conversation by initiating conversation by using the following three steps:

  1. Start a discussion about a topic from pop culture (something on TV, movies, sports, celebrities etc. )
  2. Relate this topic to oneself why adding something personal
  3. Make the person laugh.

The Lesson…

The lesson that I learned from the show, that was not said aloud, was that one should not avoid social interaction. If social interaction with new people makes one nervous he or she should plan ahead. Once can prepare for daily social interactions by doing the following:

  • Create a list of conversation topics
  • Have knowledge of current events
  • Be part of social media (in moderation)
  • Attend events (even if just for a little while)
  • Smile and be friendly, even if no one is talking to you
  • Give complements
  • Ask questions about the other person

Dr. Gordon also suggested the idea of finding your tribe. I actually used this idea to started  Facebook group that is dedicated to helping people to feel less lonely. Everyone should feel that they have someone to turn to.

Join “Find your Tribe” Group on Facebook by clicking here.

Join Our Group on Facebook.

The Clips!

Tracy Moore hosts the City Line Show Daily. They cover many topics including fashion, home design, parenting, and beauty. The show on June 25th was on the serious side. It was a City Line Reel, researched and interviewed by Producer Donna Maiato. It was an honour to be a part of this show.

Here are two clips that show me, Lori, talking about my experiences with Loneliness.

Myself (Lori), Tracy Moore and My lovely mother, Sandra

Clip 1 – The Truth about Loneliness – Click here

This first clip talks about loneliness, a new epidemic facing society in startling numbers. Tracy discusses the definition, as well as, the terrible effects that loneliness can have on one’s body and mind.

Clip 2 – The Power of Small Talk – Click here

This clip shows my story in a little more detail. I tell about how my social anxiety and loneliness peaked while taking one of my sons to a very long hockey practice.

As humans we have a very strong need for interaction with other humans. We literally crave closeness and intimacy. True intimacy does not necessarily have to include anything sexual. It is more in reference to the idea of being emotionally close with someone. In an emotionally intimate relationship, each partner is comfortable to be honest with the other. Each partner can be himself or herself and talk about anything. Having someone to really talk to is very important. We all need that.

The image is designed to demonstrate the need for a solid loving relationship
We all need someone in our lives that gives love unconditionally. A good solid intimate relationship lets one feel safe, loves and wanted.

About 18 years ago I was diagnosed with moderate to severe social anxiety. It fluctuates and affects me differently based on many factors. These factors include; setting, presences of family/friends, my arousal levels (tiredness), the weather and other factors too. I have a therapist that I see regularly. She is very supportive ad

Loneliness vs. Solitude

Image courtesy of www.brainyquotes.com

Lastly, I wanted to mention the idea of the difference between being alone and the concept of solitude. Solitude can be something that is appreciated and enjoyed. One can do many things while in a state of solitude. Mindfulness and reflection can only be done in quiet solitude. When you can enjoy your time alone, you will truly enjoy the time you spend with other people.

See our article entitled “Why Aren’t You Happy?” by clicking here. This article is located on our sister website. Check it out here.

Week 1: What Makes You Happy?

Disclaimer – There are affiliate links in this blog post. This means that if the reader clicks on a link and makes a purchase, I may be given a small commission. There is no charge to the reader.

What is Happiness to you?

Click here for our previous blog posts about finding happiness.

What makes you smile from ear to ear?

Being on a long awaited vacation with people you love.

Relaxing comfortably with your eyes closed, in a beautiful ski lodge in front of a crackling fire.

Carefree shopping with your best friends, with no spending limit, buying all the brands that you love.

What do all of these statements have in common? Well, first of all, they are all leisure activities, they each have their own charms and they all define happiness to someone. Each of use sees happiness very differently.

Put some thought into it. What is happiness to you?

What is Happiness to you?

What makes you happy? Kids find happiness in simple things. Kids are able to be in the moment. That is the key.

In creating your definition, try to be individual, authentic and honest as possible.

Use this list of rules:

  1. State your definition in the positive. Happiness is __________.
  2. Keep it brief and simple.
  3. Be specific.
  4. Ensure there is something that you can visualize.
  5. Include an aspect for each of the following: Mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing and spiritual wellbeing.

Click here to find the “My Definition of Happiness” printable template.

Happiness can be in unexpected places.

How Can I Be Happier?

We are Cara and Lori Spensieri. We are called “Eh, Be Positive!” and we have created a system called The Spensieri Method for creating and maintaining positivity and happiness in your life. If followed for thirty days, this system will help you feel more optimistic, confident and happier. More information about the book, “30 Days to Happy”can be found by clicking here.

You can get happier today.

We are not medical doctors and we do not claim that this is some magical spell that will automatically make you happier. We want you to make a promise to yourself that you will try to feel better and that you will put forth an honest effort for the challenges presented each day. 

Try to actively follow the steps of each daily performance task. 

WARNING!
Of course, if you feel extremely sad for longer than a couple of weeks, you should talk to someone you trust and tell him or her how you feel.  

Make your own happiness.

INTERESTING TIP: If you find that your feelings of unhappiness are linked to certain times of the year, you may suffer from SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. You are not getting enough sunlight. Natural sunlight does carry the most positive effects although some artificial lights at the correct frequencies can work wonders for your mood. Check out this artificial sun light.

What is Happiness to You?

The first step in the Spensieri Method (and first chapter in the book “30 Days to a Happier You”) is called “What is  happiness to you?” All you have to do is write down as fast as you can 10 things that make you happy. It does not matter if they are silly or ridiculous. 

Write down 10 things that make you happy. Just be honest and true to yourself. Try to avoid putting money as the first thing on the list. Here is Cara’s list: 

Cara with Grandma, Jean-Paul and baby nephew Franklyn
  • My little boy
  • My Family (especially Lori)
  • My Students
  • A Delicious Meal
  • Drinking coffee
  • Giving to charity
  • Watching a funny television show (like Big Bang Theory)
  • When my nieces and nephews yell, “CARA!” when I arrive
  • Music
  • Thoughts of my Nonna
  • Achieving a goal

My list is not in any particular order. All you have to do is brainstorm and free-write a list for yourself. It will give you some insight into what floats your boat, what simple things make you feel happy. Here is Lori’s list: 

My family makes me so happy. 
  • My family, and children
  • My students
  • Helping others
  • Learning new things
  • Making a big meal that everyone enjoys
  • Holiday: Christmas, birthdays, Valentines day
  • Love – Click here for our post all about love. 
  • Planning
  • being strong and independent
  • being financially free

CHALLENGE TIME!

This list is your challenge. When you are finished your list, you can enter our “Happiness challenge” by posting your list in the comments section or you can post it on our Facebook Page. 
Thank you for reading and eh, be positive! 

For another great article about keeping your resolutions, click here.  It may be February already but you can still go back and renew the promises that you made to yourself.

My favourite post from 2018 is all about LOVE. You can never give too much love. Click here for that post. You will love it. 

Are You Going to Keep Your Resolutions?

New Years Resolution funny

By Lori Spensieri

This blog post contains affiliate links. This means that if you click on one of the links, I (the author) may receive a small commission. There is no cost to you.

By Lori Spensieri, January 15, 2019

Hey Positive Peeps! So it is 2019. We are three weeks in. Are you a resolution maker? More importantly, are you a resolution keeper? Here at Eh! Be Positive we are big believers of bringing out the best version of “You”. The only standard that you should set should be based on personal improvement and personal betterment. If you are where you want to then change may not necessary. Ask yourself; Am I where I want to be?

Why Do you Tend to Break your Resolutions?

I was perusing Facebook on January 2nd and I came across a post. It said, “Welcome back to all the people who quit Facebook as their new year resolution.” There are two messages in one here. The simple surface message states that Facebook is addictive and it is difficult to quit. It is the deeper meaning that struck me. The alternative message that the post was less likely to be trying to communicate, is that people, in general, are not usually able to keep their resolutions. This is sadly true. Do not fret though. We have a plan for you. Your plan will be to set some goals, some smart goals. See the schematic below.

New year’s resolutions are similar to goals, but there is a major difference. Whereas a resolution is a promise and is more permanent, a goal is something that one aims to accomplish, and once it has been achieved, a new goal can be created.

Anyone who has made a goal in the past and then accomplished it knows about the rewards of perseverance, motivation and a strong will. All of the listed qualities are necessary. When the goal is achieved, there is a celebration and a sense of pride is felt by the goal-achiever. According to David Galloway in  his article “Differentiate between goals and resolutions to aid in Personal Achievement”, the key is to know which changes (you make) in your life should be (considered) attainable goals and which should be (considered) permanent resolutions.

Resolutions vs. Goals

Resolutions are different in that they require more perseverance and
they don’t get “achieved” or “accomplished” and then forgotten. They
introduce a gradual change which is probably harder to observe on a
daily basis. Resolutions are harder to keep because there is no “defining moment” in which you can say that you have won or achieved that goal, but after a month or two, you will feel happier, healthier and proud of yourself for not quitting!

Some Reasonable Resolutions…

We have come up with a list of healthy resolutions (that can be associated with goals that you can set for yourself). These resolutions are meant to be somewhat easier to maintain.

Eat Healthier!

1.       Eat healthier (similar to lose weight). What you want to do is go back to basics. Create one “cheat day” and try to eat relatively healthily the rest of the time. Drink 4 bottles of water per day. Eat fruit and veggies every day. Keep it simple. You can do this! Cut out one “bad food” like french fries or fried food.

Perhaps, you will reduce your coffee or soda consumption.

Exercise!

2.       Exercise more (similar to lose weight). Get more exercise by adding it to your daily schedule. Park further away from the mall or get off the bus 2 stops early and walk. Use your smartphone’s app to track your steps. You should aim for 10 000 steps per day. Use the stairs if you usually use the elevator to go up two or three flights. Take a walk at lunchtime. You will also sleep better at night and have less stress if you move more.

We did a great article post all about eating well and keeping fit. It follows with the 30 days to a happier you system. Click here for all the details.

Lori Getting Her Fitness On!

Reduce that Bad Habit!

3.       Reduce smoking frequency (similar to quit smoking). The ultimate goal, of course, is to quit smoking. However, after some research, I realized that only about 5 percent of people who quit cold turkey actually kick the habit permanently. The gradual cessation of nicotine in the body reduces the stress and the anxiety and improves the odds to 10% (and higher with other aids like the patch or gum).  Quitting is VERY difficult, but reducing is much easier.

Volunteer!

4.       Volunteer. Do you want to feel good about yourself and make a difference? Start with volunteering. Find an organization that works with your schedule. You could pet animals at a shelter, spend time with elderly people at a home, read books to sick kids, shovel snow for the senior couple down the street or spend time at a food bank sorting. Whatever you choose to do, it will definitely have a positive impact on the world and on you!

Save Money!

Saving money is one of the most popular resolutions. You are sure to be unsuccessful without a plan.

5. Save money. Stress and money seem to go hand in hand. Start a modest savings plan in January. Open an account with Tangerine (used to be ING Direct) or with your bank that automatically withdraws money weekly, biweekly or monthly, and by the end of the year, you will have a little extra money. In addition, save money for Christmas or other seasonal spending starting in January. It’s never too early to start saving.

Check out this article. Click here to find 100 ways to save money.

These are my resolutions. What are yours?
If you would like to win our New Year’s Prize Pack, tell us your 3
resolutions.
You can post them here on the blog or on our Facebook page.
Good luck and eh, be positive!

Start Now!

Well, it’s a new year. It is the perfect time to start something new,
something that could change your life for the better, something fun and inspiring. Studies show that it takes 14 days of doing a habit to make that behaviour become automatic.

Why not start now?

Why not make a commitment to yourself to be happier?

What do you have to lose?

How Can I Be Happier?

We are Cara and Lori Spensieri. We are called “Eh, Be Positive!” and we have created a system called The Spensieri Method for creating and maintaining positivity and happiness in your life. If followed for thirty days, this system will help you feel more optimistic, confident and happier. More information about the book, “30 Days to a Happier You” can be found by clicking here.

You can get happier today.

We are not medical doctors and we do not claim that this is some magical spell that will automatically make you happier. We want you to make a promise to yourself that you will try to feel better and that you will put forth an honest effort for the challenges presented each day.

Try to actively follow the steps of each daily performance task.

WARNING!
Of course, if you feel extremely sad for longer than a couple of weeks, you should talk to someone you trust and tell him or her how you feel.  

What is Happiness to You?

The first step in the Spensieri Method (and first chapter in the book “30 Days to a Happier You”) is called “What is  happiness to you?” All you have to do is write down as fast as you can 10 things that make you happy. It does not matter if they are silly or ridiculous.

Write down 10 things that make you happy. Just be honest and true to yourself. Try to avoid putting money as the first thing on the list. Here is Cara’s list:

Cara with Grandma, Jean-Paul and baby nephew Franklyn
  • My little boy
  • My Family (especially Lori)
  • My Students
  • A Delicious Meal
  • Drinking coffee
  • Giving to charity
  • Watching a funny television show (like Big Bang Theory)
  • When my nieces and nephews yell, “CARA!” when I arrive
  • Music
  • Thoughts of my Nonna
  • Achieving a goal

My list is not in any particular order. All you have to do is brainstorm and free-write a list for yourself. It will give you some insight into what floats your boat, what simple things make you feel happy. Here is Lori’s list:

My family makes me so happy.
  • My family, and children
  • My students
  • Helping others
  • Learning new things
  • Making a big meal that everyone enjoys
  • Holiday: Christmas, birthdays, Valentines day
  • Love – Click here for our post all about love.
  • Planning
  • being strong and independent
  • being financially free

CHALLENGE TIME!

This list is your challenge. When you are finished your list, you can enter our “Happiness challenge” by posting your list in the comments section or you can post it on our Facebook Page.
Thank you for reading and eh, be positive!

For another great article about keeping your resolutions, click here.

My favourite post from 2018 is all about LOVE. You can never give too much love. Click here for that post. You will love it.

Boxing your Way Through The Day (of Deals)…

“There are affiliate links within this blog post. This means that I could make a small commision when you click on these links and make a purchase. I am required to disclose this. There is no cost to you.”

Boxing Day sales – A bunch of great steals or just a load of crappy deals? We are consumers, yes… and we all admit that Christmas has become very consumeristic… is that a word? I digress. But is “Boxing Day” a real day of deals or a giant scam? Well, whatever the answer is, there will be black-Friday-esque shopping madness in all the shopping malls. People wait for this particular day to shop for certain items. But… are all items a good deal? Don’t fall for the tricks that stores use to get you to buy… right now. 

5 Tricks That Stores Use To Get You To Buy Today… on Boxing Day ! 

  • Limited supply…and other catchphrases that trick you into thinking that this is a “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity. Other phrases used include; ‘Fire Sale’, ‘Sale ends in X-minutes’, ‘Tomorrow will be too late’, ‘Last Chance Sale’, ‘Going Fast’, ‘Get them before they’re gone!’, ‘In-Store Only’, ‘For First 50 Customers Only’, ‘Door Crashers’ …these are all pressure tactics.
  • “Special Sales” or VIP Sales. These are often false advertising…or close to it. There is a price pattern or system. The prices are ‘Regular’ until Black Friday. There is usually some indication of limited supply. Three weeks before Christmas the prices go back up to the “Regular” price. About a week later the prices go down for a “Christmas Sale” then back up… to milk the last-minute shoppers who are often desperate. Then the Boxing Day sale brings prices to the same price from the Christmas Sale. This is a specific formula.
  • Bait and switch, or just bait. You are looking at the flier and you see an item that you must own. This great deal lures you in. Little did you know that each store only had 3. But, to your amazement, they have a whole bunch of the slightly more expensive model. How convenient.  
  • Keep the doors barely open, with security guards and long line. This creates a sense of FOMO. Fear of Missing Out. If this store can attract such a ruckus, then there must be something amazing to see. The security gives a sense of there being “expensive merchandise”. Do not fall for this. If you would normally walk right by this place, do not let a line up make you change your behaviour.
  • Place small, inexpensive items right by the cash. These are placed strategically as a form of a small up-sell. Again, the list comes in handy at this point. Stick to the list. Keep it in your hand.

Ok so now you have decided to go shopping. You are daring to venture out into the crazy clearance sale blitz. You now know the tricks that retailers use. you are not going to be manipulated. You are a brave one indeed. Ok, so here are some rules to help your trip lead to serious deal finding and no brutal breakdowns. 

Careful. Not eveything is as good a sale as it may seem.

5 Rules for Boxing Day Shopping Success. 

  1. Have a list and stick to it. Make sure the list is specific and organized… Include the stores to visit, the item specifications and the price point.
  2. Go early or don’t go at all. Go 30 minutes before the store or mall opens. This will assist in finding parking, door crasher deals and crowds will be minimized.
  3. Leave your coat in the car. Crowds create body heat. Carrying your coat will feel cumbersome and it may cause you to make a bad decision in order to hasten the trip.
  4. Look it up before you buy. Once you find the item that you want, look it up on your phone. See if it is indeed a good deal.
  5. Stay at home and order online. Shopping Boxing Day in your underwear at home is bliss. You can get many of the same deals at home as in the store. Some deals are actually better. Be sure to look up coupon or discount codes before checkout.
Even Peppa Pig and her family love to shop…just not on Boxing Day.

Ok.. you are equipped with a list. You have plotted out the best place to park for easy entrance and exit from a potentially packed parking lot. You have set your alarm for bright and early and your phone is fully charged for deal surfing before purchase…now 2 top-5 lists to help you more easily discriminate the food deals from the frugal flops;

5 Things People Buy on Boxing Day … That is a Good Deal

  • Cell phones (on a contract) 
  • Tablets – new, used, refurbished .. they are all on super sale 
  • Winter coats and boots 
  • Christmas decorations, sweaters, ornaments and 
  • Novelty items from last season (Disney, toys, lego sets etc) 

5 things people gets scammed on, on Boxing Day… and is not a good deal 

  • Desktop computers 
  • Televisions sets 
  • Clothing that is not seasonal- athletic shoes, pyjamas 
  • Licences athletic wear and jerseys 
  • Flowers and consumables 
Some deals are actually amazing!

Ok everyone if you’re not heading out for Boxing Day, keep in mind that Boxing Day usually extends to boxing week. Oh and if there is something that you wanted and you didn’t get it from Santa, try asking for it for Valentine’s Day, then Easter, your birthday, st. Patrick’s day and every other holiday that you can think of. Best of luck sale slayers! Let us know how it goes! Have a great week and Eh! Be Positive. 

Christmas Here, Christmas There

‘This blog post contains affiliate links. What this means is that I can make a small commision if you click on any of the provided links.”

Christmas Everywhere!

See our “5 Days of Giving” blogs from 2017. Each day was dedicated to giving in a different way.

Day 1 – Click here for our blog on Donating Non-perishable foods.

Day 2 – Click here for our blog on leaving random happy messages or notes for strangers or friends. 

Day 3 – Click here for our blog on donating blood. There are many car accidents at this time of year. Unfortunately, the blood bank often runs our of the rare blood types. 

Day 4 – Click here for our blog on donating lightly used clothing. 

Day 5 – Click here for our blog on giving LOVE. Love is the single most important gift that you can give or receive. 


Image of family at christmas
Jacob and Matthew in 2013 with their Aunt Cristina.

All Things Christmas..all week!

All week we will be focusing on all things Christmas. So, the question stands, what does this mean to you? We see, from the blog links above, that Christmas involves many types of giving, but it can also involve a lot of stress and anxiety.  Christmas can bring out feelings in people that they have been burying deep down. When a family does not have a lot of money, it can be disheartening to find that there is not enough money to provide one’s children with all of the items that he or she wants. There is always a toy that is the big thing of the year. Every child wants this item. Arnold Schwarzenegger showed us the pain some parents experience in trying to find that coveted item when the time is of the essence. 

All week we will be attempting to focus on all things Christmas and all things positive. We are all aware of the stresses involved with shopping and rushing and keeping up with the Joneses. Let’s all repeat this 10 times. 

“Christmas is about family spending time together. Christmas is about Love and Kindness. Christmas is about helping and giving and sharing. Christmas is a blessing. 

Shopping Stress…

How to have a stress-free shopping experience..even last minute.

  1. Make a list. Be as specific as possible. First, write down each person’s name that you are left to buy for. Beside their name write the gift you intend to buy. Write in the next column the store where it can be found. Format this list like a checklist.
  2. Shop online for anything that is available online. A lot can be delivered the following day, by Amazon Prime or other stores as well. 
  3. Go Alone or with a helper. Go alone if you are very efficient on your own. If you prefer to go with someone, bring someone whom you know will be an asset and a benefit to your shopping endeavors. 
  4. Map it out. Plan out where you will park, and the order of stores at which you will shop to find your items.  
  5. Keep it short. One hour to 90 minutes is ample for one shopping trip. Longer trips require bathroom trips, rests etc. 
  6. Bring refreshments. Staying hydrated is very important. Bring a bottle of water.
  7. Gift cards, gift cards, gift cards. When in doubt, buy a gift card. Everyone loves gift cards. They are also very easy to wrap.
  8. Breathe and remember that Christmas is about Family and Togetherness. Focus on the children’s’ gifts and the rest is secondary.

Click here for an article with an interesting perspective about the commercialism that Christmas has become. We all have to get back to the true purpose of Christmas. 

Weekly Challenge…

The Challenge, on this final week before Christmas, has 2 parts;

a) Post of photo of you and your family celebrating everything Christmas, or the holiday that you celebrate at this time of year…post this on the Eh! Be Positive Facebook group

b) Like and Share the Merry Christmas Post in the Eh! Be Positive    Facebook Page.Facebook Page.


Have a great week. Remember it is all about Christmas. Try to find time to take it all in; the lights, the sounds, the smells and of course the tastes! Take care of yourself and your families…and remember Eh! Be Positive. 

Love Makes the World Go Round!

Do you want to know how to be happier?

Do you want to know how to feel healthier?

Do you want to know how to be more successful?

The answer is so simple.

Here it is…

The answer is…

Do everything with Love. This is the Law of Love…A universal law. When you live your life, with love in your heart, your life is better.

It is that simple.

How do I do this? It is easier than you think.

Whatever it is that you are doing…Follow these steps:

  • Start by smiling. Always smile.
  • Imagine your heart being full. Visualize your soul radiating and shining with light. Feel the warmth. This will take only a few seconds. The more you practice this the easier it gets.
  • As you interact with each person silently say, “I love you.” As you say it, feel it. Every time.
  • Take that love and surround each person that you encounter, with this love.

When someone is being unkind to you, send them love.

When someone is not feeling well, instead of just sympathysing, send them prayers of love.

When you are angry with someone or someone is angry with you, imagine wrapping that person in love.

This may not always be easy.

But, as I always say, nothing worthwhile is easy.

What is Love?

Love is hard to define. It is an emotion. Love is energy.

Some sceintists and philosophers have argued that love does not actually exist. According to these cynics, love is something created by hormones and perceived differently by each. Does this matter I ask. As humans, we perceive everything differently. Each of us may look at the same green leaf. Some of us will see that leaf as darker or richer in hue. That does not change the reality of existence of this leaf. Love is felt differently by each of us. Something that tailors itself specifically for each of us. Now, that is special. That is something to be coveted and protected.

Love.

That feeling that you get inside your chest, when someone you love is around. Those butterflies in the pit of your stomach. That is energy. Those “good vibes” that you sense when someone that admires you is around. That is love.

Love is the beginning of everything.

The next time you have a challenge to overcome, think about how you can use love to overcome it.

Love and Physics

The law of thermodynamics says that energy can not be created nor destroyed. It simply changes form. Since love is energy, this law applies to love as well. There is intense energy in every strong emotion. That is why they say that Love and Hate are very close. They are side by side with regard to the level of energy involved and intensity. See the diagram below. See the diagram below. It demonstrates the following concept: as the intensity of the emotion goes up it can cause either love or hate…depending on the quality of the emotion (positive or negative). 

The Types of Love

Ok I will apologize in advance. My teacher side is about to come out in full force. I am going to define the different types of love. You may have noticed that we use the term Love when describing our feelings toward a significant other, our children, our siblings and our parents. We can love a friend, or a neice or nephew. It isn’t all the same kind of love. That would be creepy to say the least. Here are the types of love, for conversation sake:

Accdording to Psychology Today there are seven tyoes of love. To summarize these as briefly as possible:

  • Eros – Sexual or passionate love
  • Philia – love toward a friend
  • Storge – the intense love of a parent for it’s child
  • Agape – Universal love – for strangers, nature, animals etc.
  • Ludus – the love involved in flirting, dancing, casual romance.
  • Pragma – Practical love founded on reason or duty.
  • Philautia – Self love – can be healthy or unhealthy

The full article where this information was pulled from can be found here.

Lastly to end on a Positive Note…

10 Ways to Find More Love in your Life!

  1. Smile as much as possible. You will feel happier. The joy and happiness that you feel will allow you to literally radiate. You will ooze love and love will be returned.
  2. Give complements and do it sincerely. Everyone appreciates being told that they are good at something or that they look well rested. This will cause the receiver to emit a positive energy.
  3. Tell the people that you love, that you love them. They will tell you in return.
  4. Show the people that you love, that you love them. Actions speak louder than words.
  5. Be kind to others around you, even strangers. Kindness and love will be returned.
  6. Spend time with children. Children have a whimsical way of seeing the good in others. They sense positive vibes and love. They also give love more freely.
  7. Listen to romantic and loving music. Music connects very closely with our emotions, especially if you combine it with another sense.
  8. Make time for love. Carve our time to spend with someone you love. Spend quality time with your children. Talk to your relatives.
  9. Use the word love often. If you talk about, you think about it. If you think about you will bring it about.
  10. Watch Television shows and films that feature love. You energy flows where your attention goes. If you pay attention to love, move will appear.

One Last thing…

As you may or may not know, I am Catholic. In fact, I am a Catholic High School Teacher. I am very spiritual although I would not classify myself as highly religious. What I believe is that everyone should be kind to each other. We should be accepting of each other differences and most of all, we should have love in our hearts for ourselves and each other. That may sound cliché or corny but its true. There is no room for anger, jealousy, hate or competition when we will ourselves up with love. With that being said, I want to share a beautiful passage from the new testament. It is often used in wedding ceremonies and funerals. It talks of love as being something so vitally important. That is why I love it so much. It demonstrates that there is no room for pain and negativity once love is present.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails…But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” From 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

I was to sincerely thank you for reading my blog. It means a lot to me that you took the time to read about my favourite topics to write about. Love is so important. I hope you see what I see. Your life will be so much more meaningful.

I love Coffee and Cookies…not the same love that I have for my chidlren..but love nonetheless.

Have a great day and Eh! Be Positive

Check out the details of my book, “10 Ways to Happy”. Click here for details.